Fuck you, cancer. Fuck everything about you. Fuck the fact that you tear away people we love before they are ready to leave us. Fuck the way you choose your victims so carefully and only infect the people who least deserve to hurt.
This weekend I lost my mother’s best friend. It all started with a pain in her hip. The pain in her hip led to testing which ultimately became a diagnosis of stage 4 lung cancer that had spread. Although the doctors were not optimistic, she survived a year before needing chemotherapy. The cancer didn’t stop, though. It spread to her brain, leaving her friends and family to say their final goodbyes as she would not survive. The end of her time was spent with loved ones, and my mother baked everything she requested so that her memories would be as sweet on her lips as they would in her thoughts.
I am lucky to have known her. She was an important part of my life growing up, and I am relieved I was able to tell her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me in her final stages. I know it’s selfish of me to want her back, but I want her back before her suffering. Cancer never should have infected her. She didn’t deserve that.
Cancer deserves a big “fuck you” from me tonight, but I will remember my mother’s best friend as the strong sailor-mouthed woman who joked, laughed, and added stories and memories to my childhood. I’ll always miss you.